It's been twelve months since I attended and presented at the International Research Society for Children's Literature annual conference in Stockholm.
It was the first time I had ever presented my research outside of my own university. It was only the second academic conference I had ever attended (the first one had conveniently been hosted locally). And it was my first time in Europe. There's nothing quite like diving into the deep end...
In normal circumstances I suspect I would have talked myself out of applying. But the abstract was due in December 2018, in the same week that I submitted my MRes thesis. In that week I also had a job interview for a research assistant role, and had to prepare for a week-long on-site shoot with the documentary company I work for. I was so busy that I didn't have time to overthink this one: writing the abstract was just something I did. I told myself the experience of applying would be beneficial, whatever the outcome. I also figured I could reassess the decision later if my paper was accepted. In the meantime my sister had decided she was coming along, and that we would do a holiday in Scandinavia around the conference. So by the time I was accepted, the plans had been made.
The experience was overwhelming. I was in a foreign city - the start of our trip had been defined by delayed flights, 40+ hours of transit, and misplaced luggage. The conference itself was crowded (over 400 people were presenting across 5 days) and there were language barriers to overcome at every turn. It was also a literary conference but my training and research are primarily in history. To top it off, I was one of the youngest people in the room which I always find intimidating.
All of this meant the days were draining. For me, it was important to get outside in the breaks, and to take time to recharge each day. In the afternoons my sister and I explored landmarks like the National Library, City Hall, Skansen, and Gamla stan, which provided a nice break to the intensity of the conference. I was very grateful that she was there. Left to my own devices I would have holed up in the hotel room. Instead our daily jaunts were a perfect way to wind down and enjoy the experience.
I was scheduled to present on the second last day, so for the first few days I could pretend I wasn't presenting and just enjoy the sessions. With 13 parallel sessions in each time slot there was plenty of choice, and I tried to attend a variety of sessions. I heard people speaking about everything from classic national literatures and historical stories, to animal stories and fantasy; from theories of children's literature to books in education and libraries; from lullabies and picture books to young adult texts.
Thanks to my previous public speaking experience, I was not too nervous about my actual presentation. I was speaking about Norman Lindsay's The Magic Pudding (1918) and, because that book is so distinctive, I brought a copy along and handed it around the room while I was presenting. This proved quite effective: the audience were engaged by the physical book so it didn't feel like they were all just staring at me throughout.
The part I was most anxious about was the question time. Thankfully, the questions were run at the end of the session for all of the panelists. This was quite reassuring as I was not alone at the front of the room. After spending so long worrying about it, the questions were actually quite gentle and I found I did know how to answer them.
It was ultimately a good experience. I thoroughly enjoyed the presentations that I attended, and I have felt more comfortable in the academic presentations I have done since then. I also learnt a lot about matching presentations to the specific conference, about answering audience questions (and deflecting irrelevant ones), and interacting in a large conference.
Admittedly, networking isn't something I am very good at and I actively avoided it here, partly because of the size of the conference. A smaller conference may have been a less intimidating choice for my first time, but there is something to be said for starting big and, having successfully come through it, realising it is something you can do in the future. I am particularly grateful for the experience in light of the pandemic which has meant all physical conferences have been cancelled for 2020, and it may be awhile before they resume.
Besides, our Nordic holiday was worth every second.
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